You may have read the title and rolled your eyes.
"Uh, duh, of course chemistry is real. What does that even mean?"
Let me explain. A few months ago, after a fourth date that I thought went really well, I got a call from the "shadchan" telling me that the girl said no. I insisted on going out again (I would normally never dare, but I felt there was something there) so the girl called me herself to explain why she was saying no...and say no again :-( :-P
"I didn't feel like sharing anything about myself with you."
I had no idea what that meant. I mean, it was a fourth date! Who would be able to pour out their life story to a date, with all of their troubles and skeletons after going out 4 times?
Jump to last night.
I got it.
While it was a fun date, there was, on a scale from 1-10, a 0.7 on the chemistry spectrum. It wasn't that I don't think she's a wonderful girl, because she really is. I just had absolutely no pull to tell her anything about myself. I felt, er, unexcited about calling her or spending time with her.
Until last night, when I heard the stories of dates saying "I didn't feel any chemistry" I would cynically say that he/she was using that as the generic excuse to not have to say something potentially offend the receiving party (which, in my humble opinion, is fine. I'd prefer a girl to not believe the "chemistry" reason than tell her I found her extraordinarily unattractive.)
Sometimes the reason of "I didn't feel any chemistry" is just that: the reason.
Oh, and hi y'all. I'm back :-)