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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Chemistry is Real

You may have read the title and rolled your eyes.

"Uh, duh, of course chemistry is real. What does that even mean?"

Let me explain. A few months ago, after a fourth date that I thought went really well, I got a call from the "shadchan" telling me that the girl said no. I insisted on going out again (I would normally  never dare, but I felt there was something there) so the girl called me herself to explain why she was saying no...and say no again :-( :-P

"I didn't feel like sharing anything about myself with you."

Ouch.

I had no idea what that meant. I mean, it was a fourth date! Who would be able to pour out their life story to a date, with all of their troubles and skeletons after going out 4 times?

Jump to last night.

I got it.

While it was a fun date, there was, on a scale from 1-10, a 0.7 on the chemistry spectrum. It wasn't that I don't think she's a wonderful girl, because she really is. I just had absolutely no pull to tell her anything about myself. I felt, er, unexcited about calling her or spending time with her.

Until last night, when I heard the stories of dates saying "I didn't feel any chemistry" I would cynically say that he/she was using that as the generic excuse to not have to say something potentially offend the receiving party (which, in my humble opinion, is fine. I'd prefer a girl to not believe the "chemistry" reason than tell her I found her extraordinarily unattractive.)

Sometimes the reason of "I didn't feel any chemistry" is just that: the reason.

Oh, and hi y'all. I'm back :-)

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