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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

In a Bind

A host of mine has a daughter who is looking for a job. I have a position open in the company that she fits. I spoke to the host and offered to give her a shot. 

I spoke to her (on her father's phone). She told me that she isn't sure if the particular work I have for her is a strength of hers. Rather than hire her on the spot, we agreed that I'd give her some work to do and we'd take it from there. 

I emailed her the work I needed done. I told her to call me so that we can discuss before she begins. 

Then, nothing.

2 days later I emailed her asking what was going on (nicely).

Nothing. 

The next day she emails me asking for the lowdown. I emailed her back 8 minutes later suggesting she call me to discuss. 

Nothing. She has a smartphone, so it it's not like she needed to be in front of a computer to get the email. 

5 (!!!!!!!!!!!) days later she calls me. I missed the call because I rarely pick up the phone if it's a number I don't recognize. She left a message asking me to call her back and saying she'd call back later. 

She hasn't called back since.

Now, what am I supposed to do? I have a business to (help) run, and hiring someone who takes a week to call (when I told her off the bat we needed to discuss it on the phone), isn't good business sense. On the other hand, her dad is awesome and don't want to burn any bridges by telling his daughter to go fly a kite. 

I've hired people. I've fired people. I've turned down applications. But it's the daughter of a friend, and I don't think that's a tactic I can take here.

I understand now why mixing business and personal matters are not a good idea. I always understood the theory of it, but now I have the issue staring me in the face. And I have no idea what to do. 

What would you do?

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

She can call whenever

One of my Shabbos hosts, a good friend, has 4 delicious children. One of them in particular is ridiculously yummy. She has the most adorable smile, the cheekiest demeanor, is precocious beyond belief and is by far my favorite.

The things she says, the way she says them, is just...yum!

So when I received a phone call from my friend's phone, and it was her on the phone, I swooned. We spent a few minutes talking, or, trying to, anyway.

Did I mention she's two and a half?

My friend told me that she had been playing with the phone when he offered her the chance to call anyone. Who did she choose? Me! Not her aunts, cousins, grandparents, but me!

Best. Phone. Call. Ever.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Marrying Up

Surprise surprise, I'm not perfect. I have my fair share of flaws, if you ask me, more than my fair share. Unfortunately, and fortunately as well, life isn't fair. God is though, and he decided that my share of flaws is what's perfect for me. Perfect for me, that if I overcome them, I will maximize my potential on this world.

When it comes to finding a wife, there are two trains of thought for what a woman can do for her husband. "Don't marry counting on her changing you" and "Marriage would help you overcome many of the challenges you face."

Well, that makes things nice and clear.

Are these two trains of thoughts meant for two different types of people? 

For myself, I think I know what would be better for me. I thrive under encouragement and support. That's just who I am. My internal motivation waxes and wanes with the frequency of the tides, or the rising and setting of the sun. One day I'm rocking and rolling, the next, to steal a Brooklyn phrase which is too fitting to ignore, "fuggedaboutit."

Yet, while knowing what's best for me, I feel incredibly stupid going into a relationship knowing that I'm counting on her to  help change me.

It gets better, for all of you girls currently shuddering in outrage, I have more. I'm not where I want to be with regards to my level of Judaism. I want to marry up. I want to get married to someone who shares my values, but is closer to the practice of those values than I am.

The colloquial "they" say that all guys marry up, but what's the norm for that "up"? Is there this enormous chasm between the two, with the girl patiently biding her time for her husband to shape up, or are the differences in religious practice minor and quick to change?

I know that I'm not where I want to be. For all of the great things about me, and I can say it, I'm a pretty good guy, there are so many things I see in myself that aren't up to par.

There are days where I'm 100% confident I'm ready to get married, and there are days where I'm wondering what the heck I'm thinking.

It's very disconcerting that, what is to most people, a very simple question, drives me crazy.