Friday, March 15, 2013

Dating Narrative

I stabbed her through the heart
Knives, needles and a dart
Accidentally tore her apart
Her sadness, I could tell, was off the chart

I swear, "It really WASN'T my fault"
Is it, as I'm the first who had access to her vault
Does that rub the wound with salt?
That it happened to be me, just by default?

I don't know what changed in me
That made it that I no longer wanted to be
Anywhere but not with her, free
Breaking up and filled with "glee"?

I'm filled with shame at the thought
It's something I battled and fought
But lost the war with one quick shot
When it struck me, "I simply cannot"

So back to singledom I go once again
Ignoring the "im yirtze Hashem by you" refrain
Oh, those words, how I do disdain!
I DO believe, but those words are so trite, so plain

I'm not complaining about my status
I accept that my wife-to-be is in the stratus
Working her way through life and its lattice
But I look forward to the day that God introduces us

As to the one about whom this started
Although I did leave her brokenhearted
I know a few lessons were imparted
And to her One, her path is now more charted

Where that leaves me, I have no idea
Where my One is, US, England, maybe Korea
I know it won't leave me with sleep apnea
I have faith, knowing that God is my panacea

In the meantime, to the drawing board I go
Not knowing which way the wind will blow
Which girl, whose presence on me she'll bestow
To find out if for each other our hearts will glow

Until that day, I continue this lonely game
Of dating, of letting everyone know my name
In the hope that some girl will take claim
And the spark in my heart she will make flame

I think I still believe in love at first sight
Will it happen to me- one fateful night?
Only God knows that with all His might
But I wouldn't mind, and wouldn't put a fight

I know she's out there somewhere waiting
Doing what I'm doing, being active and dating
Walks, restaurants, bowling and maybe ice skating
I hope her spirit, like mine, is not deflating

"Have faith," I shout and scream and cry
"One day we will look each other in the eye"
Say, "It was worth the wait and all of the tries"
"We've made it, we're here! Together let's fly"

But for the moment, as I date others
Deal with shadchanim and mothers
Sometimes, even sisters and brothers
Be strong, be wise, accept the smothers

There are those who will badger you
And there are those who will spew
Ignore them all, except those who are true
And always encourage everything you do

I believe this poem has gone off topic
But being a poet, I can hardly be called myopic
One could say my vision is telescopic
In some ways, even philanthropic

But I've done it again, not letting this end
This little ditty, that I have sat and penned
The way I write, it seems to be a trend
Always goes a little bit around the bend

It's something I'm used to and enjoy
It makes me feel young, like a little boy
Who can do what he wants full of joy
I treat my writing, like he treats his favorite toy

As for the girl, her heart, I know, will heal
And she will allow herself again to feel
She will fall for someone else head over heel
And now, with that, I will end this lengthy spiel

The other posts I've written about dating and or girls herehere, and here are unconnected to one another. Some are about an experience I've had, others are not. I write as I'm inspired to write and not necessarily is something that I've written relevant today. Happens to be though, at the moment, I'm single.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Higher Expectations

Phone calls. They've become the most hated part or my life. Not because I don't like speaking to people because I do. Friends, family, coworkers, business associates, even my bosses. I enjoy all of the communication that goes on. But recently I've come to absolutely despise getting on the phone.

Because it is impossible for the person on the other end of the line to not get interrupted multiple times. I can spend half the time on the phone listening to another conversation that the person I'm talking to is having while I'm on the phone with them.

I try and ask everyone I get on the phone with, when I initiate, if it's a good time for them. If it's not, I ask them to call me back. But if you've told me that it is a good time, GIVE ME YOUR TIME!!! Don't tell me it's a good time and then tell me shortly after it's not!

I don't want to hear your child come into the room and ask you a question and then you have me wait while you address it. I don't want to hear your coworkers start up a conversation while we're in middle of work. And I definitely don't want you putting me on hold for you to FIND OUT what some random phone number is calling about!

When they initiate the call, forget it. My patience wears even thinner even quicker. I've hung up on people for pulling that on me. I don't care why you're calling, or how important it is, DO NOT CALL ME IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME!!

When I get on the phone, unless I have to be at my computer for whatever reason, I go somewhere where I cannot be interrupted! Outside, or my room.

I get it. There are times where you need to talk to someone else about something important while you're on the phone. But with the frequency that I'm put on hold or having my conversations interrupted, nope, no way are all these people interrupting for valid reasons.

I get it. Some people will never be free to have an interruption-free conversation. A father of 8 children, all living at home, will always be interrupted. A business changing locations or in the middle of their high season will have important things that need to be dealt with. But really? Can't I have 2 minutes go by where I have their full attention?

This is all for people of whom I have a little bit of significance to, but when it happens while I'm on the phone with a girl I'm dating, I'm speechless. Really? You're going to put me on hold for 3 minutes and when you get back, not say a word about it? "It was really important" or something to that effect. Nothing? Or interrupting the conversation 4-5 times to talk to others? Even 2-3 times is inexcusable. What am I to you? I'm not your friend, nor your parent, and I'm not someone you can treat with anything other than 100% of your attention. I'm your potential husband and I expect to be treated as such.

Is it too much to ask to have a phone call without interruptions?

This isn't about me in particular, or even phone calls- good excuse for a rant though- but an attitude towards dating as a whole. The two daters can not control every aspect of each other's day. If that happens, then, there should be no need to say, that's unhealthy. But the time that is set aside for each other, set aside. Away. Out of touch and out of contact of others.