Friday, December 20, 2013

"Just 10"

So, I got an email from a friend about this new "Shidduch Initiative" that I think is very interesting. It isn't a new idea per se, but I think it's a good idea and going to sign up for it, just for the heckuvit.

"Meet 10 new singles of the opposite gender in real life every week." I'm always game for something like that. If nothing else, it's a good opportunity to do some much needed socializing.

I've been to one single's event. The idea was to meet other singles who all knew our hosts and think of someone we knew for them (while keeping an eye out for ourselves as well, of course, but that wasn't the main idea). I never saw the need for me to go to one, but never saw a reason not to go to one. So why not?

"Its really simple.You tell us a little about yourself and a basic sketch of what your looking for. When we get a group of ten guys and ten girls that are all in the same basic category we will throw an event hosted at someones house (in Brooklyn, for now). As the list of interested people grows we will notify you when there is a new group of  befitting 10 singles that are ready to meet and we will host another party. So long as there is a group of 10 new singles for you to meet we will notify you and host a intimate gathering if there is interest from everybody involved." 

For $10, why not? For 2 hours of fun you won't get a better deal than that.

"We believe that a major factor that makes the jewish orthodox dating scene so ineffective is that it takes too long to even meet someone for an initiail first meeting." Not a fan of this line, but eh, don't really care about the thought process behind the idea, just what the idea is. 

The only real criticism that I have is the options for the box I have to place myself in. I'm not Modern Orthodox, Semi Ultra Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox, Yeshivish or Chassidish. Of those options, I'm "Yeshivish" but I wouldn't consider myself yeshivish. I'll make a note of it to them.

You can sign up at (I've really got do something about this link issue, huh?)

So, what are your thoughts on the idea? Would you go to such an event?


  1. This actually sounds great. Never heard of thanks for bringing it to my attention! All my friends are married--gonna have to find me some single ladies, round 'em up, bring some Bartenura wine (only for us ladies--sorry boys) and it's a party! In all seriousness, this is a good idea though.

    1. Pleasure!

      Hold on, hold on... You just took the idea of having both girls and guys meeting, to a just-girls party?? How in heavens did that happen? Lol!

    2. Lol. I should have clarified! I meant that there would be both girls AND guys at the event of course (we're on the mission to get married after all, amirite?) and there would be wine at the event BUT it would only be for the girls. Ok, hope it's clear now :-) Now that I'm re-reading my comment, I realize it doesn't makes sense. Whatever. In any case, I like this Just Ten thing. Maybe I'll see you guys at one of 'em. :-)

    3. Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Now I get it- thanks for the clarification!

      Y'never know!

  2. There are pros and cons.

    Yes, when it comes to dating via shadchan it can take forever—until both sides are free, yadda yadda. But a date forces two people to sit down and talk, then they have the option of a shadchan to shield the hurt of rejection, which will be rather private.

    I went not to a justten function, but simply a couple hosting a tableful of singles for Shabbos lunch. We all laughed and socialized and had fun. But everyone at this age knows the sting of rejection, and no one said afterwards who they would like to go out with, because now the humiliation would be even more compounded. Now they could see this person around again who rebuffed their advances. Maybe by another function such as this.

    I would say it sounds good in theory, but will have to see if it bears out in practice in terms of marriages. But as a fun outing, yeah, it is.

  3. Oh, and I also have no idea what category I belong in.

    1. There’s nothing saying that it can’t still be done by a shadchan. In this case, it would probably be done by the organizer of the event or the host of said event if that’s what the single felt comfortable doing.

      Interesting. I went to a Shabbos event (the one singles event mentioned in the post) and I both expressed interest in 2 girls there (went out with one so far) and another girl contacted me about someone she had thought of for me. I think people would express interest if there was any- that depends on the maturity of the individuals.

      Haha, ya, I actually wrote an email to the creator of the site saying that there needs to be more options or a textbox to qualify the option chosen.