Thursday, January 9, 2014

Letting Go

I have high expectations of myself. I cried the night I got a 98 on a final exam. I had a half hour meeting with a professor and a 45-minute meeting with a department head because I got an A instead of an A+ on a class (which makes no difference on my GPA). I couldn't sleep the night before an exam because I wasn't convinced I had studied enough for a final (I had :-)). I took more time to revise a 10-page paper than it took me to write it.

You get the point. I'm insane. Not only about school, but in pretty much every facet of my life (and a miserable failure, but hey, I try).

It used to be OCD. (I self-diagnosed myself on that, but... Well, I'm not going to give details for fear of sounding more insane so you'll just have to trust me on that.) I got over it after years of hard work.

Until this week, it was perfectionism to an extreme in everything I did. If I was going to do something, then Heaven help me, I was going to do it right.

Meh. Not anymore. This week, I woke up and realized, nope, it just doesn't matter. I just don't care anymore. I refuse to not sleep, lose weight (which I don't have much of to begin with), lose my appetite, live on coffee, be in a perpetual state of stress and stop dating (!!!!!!!!) because of classes I am taking voluntarily. Pure. Insanity.

That's that. Papers will get written, exams will be taken, projects will be completed, but nope, I don't care what my post-bac GPA looks like; my GPA has been beautiful until now, and if it suffers from a less-than-stellar semester where I was working more than full time, so be it.

Dang, what a relief.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Google It!

I'm the go-to guy in my entire extended family when it comes to computer questions. Somehow that happened. I'm not really sure how.

I'm very happy to help anyone who asks for anything if I can. I've spent many hours on the phone with relatives and friends helping them.

When I get calls from some of them, I already know that after the formalities are dealt with, a computer question is coming.

Recently, a friend sent me the below picture. It's too perfect not to share.

I don't have a lot of time at the moment being that it's the end of the semester and I'm going out of town next week, but I have a few minutes now because I'm in a boring meeting :-)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Not Just Me

The other day, I asked a client (on a Google document) a question with one of two possible answers. He replied, "good question!" I, being unable to answer the question for him, wrote back, "Let me know what you want."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

"Is that a command??" came his fast comment.

Oh boy... I had been specifically brought into this project to fix our relationship with this client after a coworker had made a complete and utter mess of things. And what's the first thing I do? Make a mess of things.

I wrote a lengthy comment on the document apologizing and followed that up with an email reiterating how badly I felt about it and all but swore it would never happen again.

His email reply: What nerve! Who do you think you are to apologize to me?!?

Around then is when I had a full-blown panic attack. Heart palpitations? Check. Feeling weak? Check. Breathing difficulties? Check. Feeling a loss of control? Check. Sense of terror? Check with an exclamation mark.

This was definitely not what my boss had in mind when he brought me on to the project.

I sat in my chair, Freaking. Out. I couldn't believe it. It made no sense. I knew this client was far from ecstatic with the mistakes of my predecessor, but an explosion of such epic proportions over a poorly phrased request? Oh. My. Goodness.

After sitting there numbly for a few minutes, I decided to backtrack to where it had all started: my poorly phrased request. There, sitting prettily next to my apology, "C'mon, loosen up!"

Ever felt incredibly relieved and ready to kill someone at the same time? I can cross that off the "I'd rather pass" bucket list. I wanted to fly to his country of residence and... Well, I needn't write it.

What a stupid, idiotic, dastardly thing to do!!! The agmas nefesh I was forced to go through because he was in a "playful" mood! Aaaaghhhhhh!!

What is wrong with people??

It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with Learning to say Nothing. Thankfully, I've already learned how not to play cruel jokes, unlike some other people I have the misfortune of having in my life.